turning pain into power

To want someone who is not yours?
You shouldn't.
But...sometimes the feelings are stronger than the mind.
Even so, I try to deny them.
It's better this way.
It's better to forget.
No more tears, no more sadness.
After all, you are happy and that's all that matters.
I should be happy for you.
But the truth is, I wanted you to be happy with me...
But it's ok. I understand.
She's better. For you.
She makes you happy.
It hurts, but I'm used to be in pain.
It hurts to see you together!
But fuck it! You're soo damn beautiful together.
I envy her.
For having something I can't have.
For having you!

I'll be fine.
Maybe not now.
But I believe that better days are coming.
It takes strenght and patience.
I have both.
And soon, my pain will become my power.